i even shaved
i even swept my hair to the side
i even wore suspenders
i even did something to make my arms look sexy
i even texted you too many times
i even did something about the cat hair and ants
i even looked in the mirror to confirm my good looks
i even unbuttoned my shirt
i even biked alone and lost for hours to get there
i even practiced masturbating according to online instructions
i even went all or nothing and flirted with everyone
i even told myself repeatedly 'the more you worry the worse it gets'
but things don't seem to be working out
and every time i have sex its a disaster
23.5.11
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